Learning How To Play Again Will Increase Your Happiness

Show Description: Episode 47: Play increases our happiness. But many adults forgot how to. Why is being playful essential, and how can we add more play into our lives? 

Episode Links: 

Ø   Mary Lee on the Un-FAQs podcast

Ø  Gretchen Rubin's book, The Happiness Project

Ø  Annual happiness project. 

Ø  Being a better friend

Ø  Join a book club

Ø  Creativity

Ø  Riding on the back of your husband's motorcycle

Ø  Act of self-care

Ø  Make authentic connections

Ø  A flow state

Ø  The egoic mind

Ø  Sense of detachment

Ø  Self-confidence increases

Ø  Fully in the present moment

Ø  Peace flows

Ø  Encourages our resiliency

Ø  Forgive others

Ø  Decrease disputes

Ø   To be our authentic selves   

Ø  Relieve stress

Ø  Good belly laugh

Ø  Our tribe of friends

Ø  No judgment 

Ø  Allow the joy within us to rise

Transcript

Mary  0:03  
Here we are at Episode 11. And in this episode I go all the way to Woodstock, Georgia, to speak with Terry Kozlowski. Terry has a remarkable backstory. She discovered her true path in life only by coming to terms with a painful childhood. Today she is a successful life coach with a certification from the Academy of modern Applied Psychology, and she helps many others overcome limiting beliefs and fears. She also is the host of the podcast soul solutions, which she launched in August 2020. During the pandemic. In her podcast, Terry dives into the soul to teach us how to take control over our ego and emotions to create the life we desire. Her show recently reached the milestone 1000 downloads, you can find her on Apple podcast. Among the fascinating feats that Terry has overcome from childhood trauma and abuse. She can now add published author to her list. Her book Raven, transcending fear is part memoir, part self help guide. But it's 100% raw and personal, Terry story of diving deep into her past and dealing with the terror before ultimately getting comfortable with fear and transcending it. I recently met Terry through a mastermind course online. My husband's best friend john Bell always says surround yourself with good people, and good things will come. So being in this mastermind course and surrounding myself with the likes of people like Terry was remarkable. I wanted to share her backstory as an entrepreneur who overcame so much not just through this pandemic. So I really hope that you enjoy this episode. And you can also find Terry's book Raven transcending fear on Amazon. Recently, Terry's book has been nominated for the cover of the Month Contest on all author. Throughout the month of April, you can cast your vote online at all author.com and vote for her book. You can also learn more about Terry at Terry kozlowski.com t ri. k o Zed lwski.com. Terry, I am just thrilled I really am thrilled to have you join me on my podcast, and 30th interview. podcast interview has

Unknown Speaker  2:32  
been my thing.

Unknown Speaker  2:33  
Okay, but am I

Unknown Speaker  2:34  
the first Canadian podcast? host?

Unknown Speaker  2:36  
Yes. First Connect.

Unknown Speaker  2:38  
So I have a captive audience. This is great. So Terry, you and I met on Jacqueline Malone's plug in pitch workshop, there was something that is inside me instinctively told me. I need to reach out to Terry not even knowing at the time that you had already been doing all of these podcast interviews yourself, and are the host of soul solutions podcast. So yeah, that makes it even more dynamic. Because I like talking podcast hosts the podcast host.

Unknown Speaker  3:15  
It's always more fun. We know, we know what we're getting into with each other. Yes.

Unknown Speaker  3:20  
So of course, my platform is to talk about those COVID Crusaders, those go get them women that pursue their passion against all of the, their fears and the dilemma that we face in the world. And I asked you about, you know, the fact that we have the power to share our stories as a real good tool for our own transformation, and also the transformation journey that we hope to help other people on. And so when COVID happened, the world went into another form of transformation, some towards the healing side, and spiritualities others just went running for the hills in the opposite direction full of fear, maybe even falling into addiction, abusive behavior, worrying all the time, having to confront their limiting beliefs, your book Ravan transcending fear, I feel it can't be more poignant, a message than the here and now. So tell us a little bit about the journey of how, you know what was involved in writing the book, How did it come to you that you needed to write this book and has maybe as a reminder to yourself, about your own resiliency?

Unknown Speaker  4:36  
So if you would have asked me prior to 2018 and I had been asked over the years about writing my story, and it was always not just no but a Hell no, I was adamant that I was not going to do it. And then in the summer of 2018, I became pregnant with a book and nine months later, I had written the first draft of Raven transcending fear. I named the book before it was done, I came up with a cover design before it was done. So I knew what it was going to look like that. And then I went through the editing process, which took much longer than you think it does. And I went through the the lovely rejection of many, many publishers telling me they didn't want my book. And then in October of 2020, I got a book contract. And my book came out on February 12, Lunar New Year, which is very significant to me, concerning the Native American aspect and lunar cycle. So I was very excited that it debuted on Amazon on February 12 2021. So the book is really my story of how I overcame the trauma of child sexual abuse, and the physical abandonment and emotional and then mental abandonment of my mother, literally on the streets of Albuquerque, New Mexico, 3000 miles away from home with my little sister, we are 11 months apart to the day and I was 11 at the time. So Irish twin. Yes. So we were, you know, literally on the streets of Albuquerque, New Mexico, my mother has put our suitcases out on the front stoop, and goes in and locks the door. And my sister's screaming and crying banging on the door. And I'm trying to figure out how to take care of my baby sister, which was the last thing my dad said to me before we left on this trip to visit my mother. So that clicked in. And for me, it was a life saving thing that occurred because it took the focus off of me, took the foot off of the situation and had me focusing on how do I help my baby sister. And how I helped her was I got us to a place where we could call my dad and get us home, I get off the airplane, and I tell my dad, I need therapy. I'm 11 this is in the early 80s. I should know what therapy is. And yet here I am asking for it. So I was a very aware child. And I always knew that I had a connection to the divine to the spiritual realm, whatever you want to call it. And I think that was what started me down this journey. So the book is that complete story. From the understanding that I came to this world, not fearful of anything, I came to this world knowing who I was knowing I had a mission in life. And then life happened. And life happened because of those things that are unknown to the child when they come into the world, which is their family. And families can be a blessing, and they can be a curse. And I had a split family, I had some family that was absolutely a blessing and helped me through the traumatic aspect of the other half of my family. So when the book, starts their talks about the trauma, and then talks about my recovery and the steps I took to come to the other side, and understand that we can all transcend the fear that the ego of mind brings into our day to day lives. And that the reality is, we are supposed to see life from a loving perspective. And when we don't see it from a loving perspective is because we're choosing to look at life through the eyes of fear. And you can do one of two things. Look through the eyes of fear or look through the eyes of love. And consciously choosing to see with the eyes of love is ultimately how you transcend fear.

Unknown Speaker  9:00  
I feel like I'm being wrapped with a warm blanket right now is you are so comforting. Your message resonates to everybody, no matter what the situation is some childhood trauma. Yeah, it just it's like a reassurance and I get the same feeling when I listened to your podcast, that you're just there to wrap us with comfort knowing that whatever we're in, it doesn't define us. It's not. It's not our future. It's just the stories of our past and they have the power to rise above it. Absolutely. In so I was listening again to your podcast episodes and I really liked Episode 33 when you talk about forgiving your mother to move forward and you quote and the mods an author. It's funny because just recently she was on Kathy Heller's podcast, don't keep your day job. You see where the salt going. There's just this A twining connection. I just, it gives me goosebumps, just to see how the universe is connecting us to the people that we need to hear from whether it's

Unknown Speaker  10:11  
like, yeah, so.

Unknown Speaker  10:14  
And I loved what you talked about forgive, to free ourselves, because it's an act of self care. And we are in the dawn of self care more, more so now than ever, tell us how it felt that releasing that freeing of yourself.

Unknown Speaker  10:29  
forgiving My mother was a very difficult process, because I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the why. Why did it happen? Why did she not love me, and when you the ego attaches to the wives. And the reality is, it didn't matter what the Y was, there could never have been a justification, my mother would have given me to why that I would have accepted. So the ego trapped me. And staying in the past with trying to find out the why trying to figure out what I could have done to help change the situation. If I hadn't been born to a different family, all of that good stuff, that as an 1112 1314 year old, you struggle with because you don't have the language, you don't have the understanding, you don't have the cognitive ability to figure out what happened, and how to move forward. So as I was struggling with all that, forgiving, my mother ended up being a process where I spent time looking at what things was she causing negatively in my life, today. And when I looked at in the present moment, she had nothing to do with me, we didn't speak, you know, very, very rarely throughout the course of my life from the time we were in New Mexico, and that and the trauma occurred, I'd only seen my mother two times after that, one on my wedding day to my first husband. And three times when I visited with her my sister, and she met my son when he was 18 months old. And then one trip in 96. So I hadn't seen my mother since 1996. And the most of my healing occurred after that. Because when I saw her, although that was the only time I had visited her that she stayed sober. All the previous times she had been there'd been alcohol involved or drugs involved. So that was the only time she was so why take that back. She really wasn't she was smoking marijuana. So now she wasn't really sober. But the reality was in forgiving her, what it what it said to me was, I was more important than she was to me. Oh, and that is the crux of what forgiveness is yes. When we decide that we are more important than the person who hurt us than the person who caused our pain. And guess what we are, it doesn't matter what they did or who they are. We are absolutely more important to us than they are. And although as women, we are taught that we have to put everybody else before us. And that is something that still gets taught. You see little girls what you know, you need to take care of your baby sister. No, she doesn't know you don't need to take care of your baby sister when you're only 11 months apart. That's not true. That's not the reality of the situation. Yes, you can comfort your younger sister, your younger sibling, but you are not responsible to take care of them. And when we as grown women look at Okay, what messages have I been given? And how am I internalizing these labels that somebody else put upon me? I didn't put that upon me. Yeah. And, and when we choose to say, Okay, I'm done with the labels, which means I'm done wearing the masks, I'm done wearing the armor. I am done playing these roles and truly become our authentic selves. Then we get to determine who we are. And when I get asked who now you know who's Terry Laski? I don't use labels I say I am authentically me sitting here with authentically you being you and having a lovely conversation about how we can all overcome our fears and limiting beliefs.

Unknown Speaker  14:38  
Let's talk about the Raven.

Terri 14:40  
So I am Athabaskan Indian. My mother is from Fort Yukon Alaska, eight miles inside the Arctic Circle. She grew up and sustenance living and, you know, didn't have running water didn't have electricity. And she didn't have any of that until she was 16 years old. given up for adoption and moved to Seattle, Washington, and actually Olympia Washington and her first night in what she called the white man's world, was where she was flipping on the light switch on and off and watching the toilet water go down.

Unknown Speaker  15:15  
Oh goodness.

Unknown Speaker  15:17  
So she is Athabaskan Indian tinga tribe, Raven clan. And I was always told I was Raven clan, I didn't know what that meant. And she really never taught me what that was. So in high school, I started doing some research. And the amazing thing about ravens is that they are the Transfiguration, they are the symbol for transcendence, they are the symbol for being able to transfer you from here into the spiritual realm. And they have a lot of negativity towards him, because number one, they're all black. And number two, you see them around death, but they're around death to help the spirit move on to the next level, to transcend this world. So, so that is where the title came from, was the fact that the right the raven was a nod to my native American heritage, because I am half Native American. And then, of course, the whole transcendent aspect of the symbolism of the Raven, being able to take you out of this egoic state that we that we live in, which is the state of fear, and transcend it and live a life that spiritual a life of your authentic self.

Unknown Speaker  16:38  
Incredible.

Unknown Speaker  16:39  
There is an agenda into the story concerning how the raven took us out of darkness and brought in the light to our lives.

Unknown Speaker  16:48  
You know, again, I mentioned earlier, we came to know each other through this community and online forum that was created through Jackie Malone's plugging pitch all over the world now entrepreneurs are, are connecting in ways that we never imagined prior to the pandemic and 20. But what for you is your biggest takeaway that you've gained for having this community now?

Unknown Speaker  17:11  
Well, because of COVID is why I started my podcast. So my son had been telling me that I needed to start a podcast, I was gonna reach a different audience, because he listens to podcasts, he doesn't read blogs, all that kind of stuff. And so it happened that during COVID, I was at home and a podcast challenge came up with Jacqueline Milan, and I took it and then I took the class. And in August of 2020, I my podcast launched. So I'm currently getting ready to record my 36th episode. So it's been moving along quite well. But in coming out and doing this type of endeavor, I've reached a different audience that I don't think I would have reached otherwise. And now when I look at my demographics, from my social media, I'm seeing and even Google, I am seeing that my audience who I thought would have been women over 40 is actually 60% women under the age of 35. No way. And on top of that, what I would have said that my audience is completely women 30% of my audience is male, fascinating. Part of it to me is very sad, because that means that men are going through trauma as well, and have limiting beliefs and fear that they're dealing with, but they're silent about it.

Unknown Speaker  18:42  
Yes.

Unknown Speaker  18:43  
So there's a sadness to me when I see those numbers. But, you know, for me, I'm putting myself there out there on a continual regular basis so that I can help others. And them hearing me hearing my story that they can understand that they too can overcome.

Unknown Speaker  19:01  
You know, I think you would have an amazing audience as well with those who have PTSD. And we automatically think PTSD means a veteran of the military or the first responders, but PTSD can happen in so many different ways. childhood trauma,

Unknown Speaker  19:16  
there's a if you put on a siana it's complex, which normally deals with childhood trauma. And believe it or not, yesterday, I got asked to contribute to a foundation that specializes in that. So I've submitted some articles for them to review. So I'm hoping that in the next coming weeks that I will be featured there as well.

Unknown Speaker  19:38  
Congratulations, Terry. Thank you. You're really like home run with your pitches. You are connecting with the ball and just blowing it out of the park.

Unknown Speaker  19:48  
That is that is what the whole idea was with the pitch class.

Unknown Speaker  19:52  
I'm not a baseball person whatsoever.

Unknown Speaker  19:55  
Okay, neither am I.

Unknown Speaker  19:56  
All those phrases sound really cool, right? Hey, dude. To hear it from me that there is a younger community and a male community because when I hear is that they're saying to themselves that generations saying It's okay. It's okay to come forward. And, and maybe then doing so that will inspire others. The Deloitte, a global study, did a study on millennials and the gen sets and that they have come to, or the research has shown that they're a very resilient generation, they're taking control of things, and they're moving forward. And so many different factors that are important to them, such as their self care, environmental issues, the financial state of the world, it delights me to hear that that younger audience that you your demographics, are being drawn to your message and your your teachings.

Unknown Speaker  20:54  
The sad part about that is that, you know, part of the reason I know I'm attracting that is because when you look at the demographics, from child abuse, and are specifically child sexual abuse, when you are now at 66% of all children are sexually abused before they reach the age 18. Well, children, not just females, it's all children now. So that that statistic is just horrendous. And that, so that doesn't surprise me when I actually look at that data, that I would be attracting that particular age bracket, because they too, have suffered. And they too need to know how that they can overcome. And, more importantly, how they can heal themselves now, so that they don't continue the process. break that pattern, break the generational pattern that's in place,

Unknown Speaker  21:51  
I want to go deeper on this just a little bit because of the fact that you, you too are drawn, you said that you were always aware that you were connected to a higher self, that the divine is spiritual. And there is a very strong force within me that feels the same way and I continuing to be drawn to and at the same time attracting people of similar beliefs. You feel as though that the universe has tapped you on the shoulder. With that key you needed to go through what you went through, because it's now your time to be the spiritual healer that so many in the world need? Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker  22:26  
I think I think the pandemic, for as negative as it has been, for all the deaths that have occurred, one of the things that I have noticed is that people are waking up, people are realizing that what they were striving for, from the egoic perspective, whether it was money or power, that didn't matter us in the pandemic, it didn't matter. If you had, you know, millions and millions of dollars, you still could get sick, you still could die from this. So the the real healing that's coming is realizing that every day, we have the opportunity to do simple things to love one another. And when we love one another, when we go through our lives responding with love, instead of out of reacting from fear, how we change the world, that's how we change ourselves, we have and we have to do it for ourselves first. And I think that's what really and truly, everybody cause had to pause. And mothers who wanted more time with their children got more time with their children, maybe not how they wanted it, maybe not from home schooling, but they got that time and re evaluating where what's important to us. You know, I went from working 50 hours a week to not working. And now I'm part time, I'm looking at not working for somebody else. I want to move everything to where this is what I do full time that all I want to do is help others. And what I'm doing in the corporate world helps. But it's not what triggers the love and inspiration within me to continue to do what it is I do because what I'm doing with you is enjoyable. What I'm doing with you I know is helping other people. And what I'm doing with you mean something more important in the long run will last longer than what I do in corporate world. I think that my spiritual path has included that because all of our past does bring us to our present state. So I learned a lot through that. But I also know that it's coming to a close. I feel very strongly that there are things that are closing and new things that are about to explode in front of me. So it's an exciting time.

Unknown Speaker  24:57  
It is an exciting time in it I could spend hours just talking about that pivoting from one position to another and believing in yourself when you do it too, because it is scary and daunting. So let's check podcasts.

Unknown Speaker  25:12  
So the soul solutions podcast really is about helping people overcome their fear and limiting beliefs. And each week, it's a solo podcast, it's just me talking. And it is, we dive into one specific area. And I want you to walk away with actionable things that you can do today to start changing an area of your life. So recently, I've talked about being open minded, challenging yourself to be open minded, and what that would look like and how you can do little things to be more open minded and not to automatically react, and try to defend your position. And I'm move I moved on to also talking about better how to better communicate with people, I'm getting ready to record one now about how to be a better friend. And all of this ties together. Because when we're making those human connections, and all of our interactions are with other human beings, so how to better communicate how to be more open minded how to deal with negativity, or hostility or difference of opinions. And in this global time, where everybody has an opinion about something, everybody is defending their position. My position may not be the best solution to the situation, I need to be open minded and say, okay, maybe Mary Lee has a better solution. Let me hear what what her opinion is on that. And then let's, she has some good ideas. She recognizes I have some good ideas, let's take our good ideas and put them together and move forward, get rid of the stuff that we disagree with, it's looking for that middle ground. And in all relationships, we have to look for the middle ground. And that middle ground is something the egoic mind does not look at. The ego looks at extremes. It's either good or bad, right or wrong. There is no, you know what, there's a better way, it doesn't have to be good. It doesn't have to be bad, it can be okay, let's find an OK solution to the current problem, and move forward in that way. And that also builds a better relationship between people so that they can say, okay, we were able to compromise on this. We can work together again. And we can work together again. And those human connections is are vital. Our brain requires it. It provides us with oxytocin when we have good relationships. So we are wired to have these relationships in place. And yet, we get upset when a friend calls and they want to have coffee with us, oh, it doesn't fit in my schedule. And the reality is, when you get with them, and you spend that time with them, you have a great time. So why is it that you automatically think, dang, I don't want to have to do that. I don't want to have to get dressed right now anybody having to get dressed and go out of the house seemed to be a big ordeal. I remember when I started back to work. They said, Well, have you been out of the house I said not for 40 days. That was the first time I had been out of the house for 40 days. My husband was doing the grocery shopping because he was actually working. So you know, he instead of keeping he kept me safe, having me stay at home since he was already exposed. So

Unknown Speaker  28:43  
okay,

Unknown Speaker  28:44  
so when when all is said and done. Our human interactions is what allows us to live a complete life because making those human connections, motivate us inspires us allows us to serve others. So learning to better communicate learning how to get along better with others, learning how to see a different perspective, be open minded, all has to do with our interactions with others and those around us.

Unknown Speaker  29:19  
I found that when we were in the community that we just completed for plugin pitch and some of the other online communities and private Facebook groups I've been in it has satiated that need for interaction connection. Different form all together but I'm still getting that same vibe when I'm in those communities. And and I think that that's one of the biggest success stories coming out of this pandemic for sure. Also, yeah,

Unknown Speaker  29:51  
I can say that the reason you may be feeling that is because of all the zoom all the video conversations that people have. Because the reality is text messaging doesn't do it. Scrolling through your social media doesn't do it. It's about the face to face eye to eye, being able to see your positive reaction to what I have to say, or me seeing your negative reaction to what I have to say. And me being able then to figure out a way to communicate with you that we both end up feeling like we've had a positive interaction. And zoom has done that.

Unknown Speaker  30:31  
Yes. And you know, as a communicator, we always say when we're preparing our, our clients for an interview, is that Remember, the message, almost 80% of the message is not your words, it's how you deliver it, correct eye contact, the body position, the little idiosyncrasies that tell so much more of a different story and your right to net worth sitting here on zoom, I can still see all those, we can still see that language exactly hum through. Wow. Fascinating. You know, how has, so how has podcasts helped you grow in your life coaching program and in your business?

Unknown Speaker  31:11  
I'm not sure. And what I mean by that is I, how I approach things is based on what the universe puts in front of me. So the universe put in front of me the opportunity to do the podcast, it fit into my life, and moving forward that I believe that it is something that I'm supposed to do. And is the platform growing? Yes. Is it helping book sales? Yes. So is it helping me connect with other people? Yes. And ultimately, for me, that connection to others, is what's vital for whatever business it is. I'm less about the business, and more about the servicing and the helping of others, helping others overcome their fear and limiting belief is my mission. And the more I know that I can talk to others, the more I know I can help them.

Unknown Speaker  32:07  
Amen to that service before self. I just think that's truly a mantra we should all live by. and deed you've shared so much with us. Your your podcast, I enjoyed listening to it. Little 1520 minute segments of some real great sage advice. And you can find you on Apple podcasts is of course, yes. So we're going to pivot move on to a fun part of my podcast I like to do and I call it flashcards. You know when it's coming? I do I fire a word. You shout something back, simple word back or you can embellish. Let's just see where the universe takes it.

Unknown Speaker  32:48  
Excellent.

Unknown Speaker  32:50  
First word is authenticity.

Unknown Speaker  32:52  
who I am.

Unknown Speaker  32:54  
Sweet. Love it. vulnerability.

Unknown Speaker  32:59  
How I share myself with others.

Unknown Speaker  33:02  
Yes. openness,

Unknown Speaker  33:07  
being able to truly connect from a place of love.

Unknown Speaker  33:13  
These are wonderful answers. This is a fun one. I like childlike spirit.

Unknown Speaker  33:19  
Something I'm learning to do again.

Unknown Speaker  33:23  
Wow, wonderful.

Unknown Speaker  33:24  
I have a story about that one.

Unknown Speaker  33:26  
Please share.

Unknown Speaker  33:27  
So I used to when I was a teenager I used to paint was told by an art teacher I was not a good painter, put it up for 30 years. My granddaughter, at the age of three, I gave her finger paints. And now for up until COVID. every other weekend, she would come to my house and we would paint together. So figuring out how to play again, was really able to be taught by a child. And that's always the best way though to relearn something when it's something your body and your mind is completely forgotten.

Unknown Speaker  34:05  
Oh my gosh, figure out how to play again. I'm gonna say it again. I really want our listeners to grab on to this one. Figuring out how to play again. And probably add on to that give yourself permission to do it.

Unknown Speaker  34:21  
Have you read Gretton, Gretchen Reubens books, the happiness project.

Unknown Speaker  34:27  
It's gonna go down in my list, I said it.

Unknown Speaker  34:30  
So several years ago, I read the book and instead of doing New Year's resolutions, I do a happiness project. And basically the idea is every month you focus on something you want more of in your life. So if you want more friends in your life, that means just that month you concentrate on being with your friends, finding new for whatever it is. One of the things was on my list was learn to play again. So I spent a whole month learning how to play again, something simple as I bought a grown up coloring book, and colored pencils, and that following year, my calendar was a color, color yourself calendar. And every week I got to color a picture. So I focused on learning how to bring that fun and that playfulness back in, you're gay having a game night, stupid, silly things that you don't think of playing in the dirt. Okay, playing in the dirt. So all those little things that we used to do as a child that you still light us up and, and bring us a lot of joy. And so, you know, I highly recommend the book, it was fabulous. So every year I do a happiness project.

Unknown Speaker  35:40  
That's wonderful, you know, I guess gave me a great idea to expand this connection in this concept. So I'm not going to post this podcast on my Instagram account. I'm going to encourage people to hashtag something, that phrase play again, we'll come up with something, but also in the comment feed to share what it is that they're doing for play. Awesome. Create some conversation around that. Great, so fun. Yes, there's something very cathartic about feeling, you know, the the pen, the coloring the marker in the hand as it glides across the paper, similar to the idea of mourning pages or mourning pages, 40

Unknown Speaker  36:23  
pages,

Unknown Speaker  36:23  
why does Julia Cameron, the only cameras way, that's what came across my radar, right around 1997 timeframe. So I'm gonna open it back up again.

Unknown Speaker  36:37  
I've taught the artist way

Unknown Speaker  36:39  
you have. Okay, we're gonna get you back on another podcast in a future episode. And we'll just

Unknown Speaker  36:46  
go through that whole program if you would like, because I had been told by people that they weren't artistic. And I completely disagreed with them. And I could prove to them that they were artistic that they were just shut down at some point. So I taught group of ladies, how to rediscover their creativity. We can Okay, we've talked a couple of books, amazing books were talked about your book, what's your all time favorite read, return to love by Marianne Williamson. Oh my goodness. So and the reason is, it led me to discovering the Course in Miracles, which I've gone through several times that the teachers edition, the workbook, all of it. And it is where the crux of my understanding of what fear is and what love is. And that a miracle is being able to change from looking at something from a place of fear, to a place of love. That is the definition to me of what a miracle is. And miracles happen every day, we can cause the miracles to occur by a simple mindset change by simply looking at somebody that we think we dislike, or we think that we're fearful of for and I can give you an example. The my abusers my sexual abusers were three Hispanic men. So my ego, when I see Hispanic as anx, okay, but because of being in the workforce, I've had more positive experience with Hispanic men. They're lovely human beings. They're very family oriented, very, very lovely men. And I've had more positive experiences, the negative experiences with Hispanic men, because I've only had one negative. So because of that, the ego stuck to that Nxd. So now when I see Hispanic man walking down the street towards me, and my ego says, I can say, No, I've had more positive experience and negative experiences. And I've just performed a miracle.

Unknown Speaker  38:50  
said so beautifully. Thank you. Yes. Thank you for sharing them with us. It's so funny, because I well, another gal that was in our group, Christine terrio. And I interviewed her just the other day and launched her episode, she said the same thing. That book was her favorite book for one by Marianne Williamson. So I need to get a return to love and start reading it.

Unknown Speaker  39:15  
Yeah, it was the book that started me down the path of really understanding that who I was, as I was, was whole. I was worthy. And I wasn't broken. And when you've come from a traumatic childhood, you think you are broken. There's a large belief that you can't be made whole. And interestingly enough, I was recently in a group of 16 women who had been abused, and they're one of the questions that was asked of us was, Do you believe you can truly heal from trauma We all thought that yes, you absolutely can. And if you would have asked, and we asked, if you'd have been asked that when you were going through your trauma, would you have thought that was possible, all of us would have said no. So that mindset shift of from being a victim to being a survivor is a miracle in itself. And understanding that those mindset shifts are so vital to being able to move forward and to overcome our current whatever our current state is. And it's not a difficult process, seeing a different perspective is what is about.

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