Hello Warriors,
· Do you want to live a graceful life?
· Are you concerned that setting boundaries is unkind.
· If so, you can take my course, The Guide to Setting Personal Boundaries on MasterMind.com–the link is in the show notes.
· https://terrikozlowski.mastermind.com/masterminds/25609
· Take the course so you can gently but firmly put boundaries in place.
· Now let's start this week's episode.
Episode 121: Practical Steps To Take To Be Gentle And Live A Graceful Life
A gentle person is someone nice, agreeable, and lacking in harshness.
· A kind individual does not make sudden moves or statements.
· They are amiable, respectful, and comforting to be around.
· Hurriedness, harshness, or violent behavior are not seen by these people.
· A gentle individual emits a calm assurance.
· This sense of self-confidence comes from accepting what is.
· It comes from a quiet, peaceful mind.
· The capacity to manage certain situations shows an often-overlooked inner strength.
· This subdued composure also demonstrates a clear understanding of what is right and wrong.
You are kind to your kids; you nurture, instruct, and if they hurt their knees, you stand by them with compassion and empathy.
· However, this gentleness will be strong enough to withstand any attempts by someone to harm your children.
· You’re certain that supporting them is the proper thing to do, and that it is something you must do.
· It is born out of love, but also from the conviction that working to safeguard children is worthwhile.
[2:09]What Exactly Does Being Gentle Mean?
The opposite of being harsh is being nice.
· It shows that you do not have the impulse to be confrontational, haughty, or brazen.
· Being kind is stepping back from a challenging circumstance or scenario and returning to it later with the right emotions and intentions.
· Being gentle also entails considering what is important to you before acting calmly and patiently to allow a situation to develop naturally.
Is reaching a certain quota or margin worth jeopardizing someone else's feelings or your self-respect?
· You always have the chance to be kind to others.
· You also have the amazing chance to be compassionate to those who choose to spend time with you.
· A tactful technique entails using a steady hand to steer the scenario toward its inevitable conclusion.
· Gentleness is the approach, and kindness is the deeds you conduct.
[3:15] Where To Apply Gentleness
Learning to be patient with yourself is the first step on the road to true strength.
· Acknowledging your positive qualities.
· Respecting your body making a secure environment for oneself.
· Making a place for joy.
· This is the road that leads to gentle strength.
Empathy is gentleness's natural ally.
· You never know if you’re genuinely provoking those around you throughout the day.
· Whether dealing with coworkers, family, or friends, it's crucial to always take a step back and make sure your approach isn't too direct.
· Being gentle brings positive things into your life.
You can never tell what factors have affected someone's life.
· Everyone carries emotional baggage around.
· This can have a disastrous effect on daily activities.
· You can help others by simply being gentle in your daily interactions with them.
· This will help to lessen the burden of their emotional baggage.
· Simply by being gentle and gracious in your interactions, you can enhance someone's life.
Being nice enables you and the people you love to fully choose how success should be measured.
When you are gentle, the world moves a little more slowly, your emotions are more powerful, and you can think through things and choose flexibility.
Encouraging someone by lecturing them is usually not affected.
· But having someone speak to you with a quiet resolve and kindness helps you arrive at your best self-reflections.
· The golden rule, which states you should treat people as you would like to be treated, is ultimately the most significant guideline for interpersonal interactions.
[5:00] Examples Of Gentleness
The management of adversity with composure and fairness is a sign of gentleness.
· You can observe it in the gentleness of people's behavior when they are with others.
· You can see it in the lovely regard for nature and all living things.
· One can see gentleness in the way they slowly turn their head to feel the wind on their cheek.
· It involves getting on one knee and talking to a child while looking them in the eye.
Gentleness is when you have to move across the room while holding three eggs in one hand.
· Then you'll notice it when you cautiously navigate a delicate or challenging subject with someone.
· The feather that is resting in the palm of your open hand exudes gentleness.
You can see it in the serene expression on someone's face after being yelled at.
· It's the constant, relaxed smile someone displays when working under extreme strain.
· A person walking slowly and deliberately while surrounded by a busy, loud, energetic city street.
· You can find it in our inner silence throughout any period of awe.
There is gentleness when someone is listening to another person's sorrow and has empathy.
· Gentleness emerges unreservedly, releasing the burden of a situation to avoid interfering with the subsequent relationship.
· It genuinely takes pleasure in taking care of the other without regard for one's own goals or intentions.
· Gentleness moves with a sure hand that always knows where it is going.
[6:41] Create Boundaries
If you know your limits and are prepared to uphold them, gentleness might be your greatest asset.
· Knowing where your boundaries lie gives you security. It gives you a sense of safety and calm.
· While being forceful, this boundary enforcement can be gentle.
Where should boundaries be set?
· In every aspect of life.
· There's a significant likelihood that a boundary problem is a reason for your feeling overwhelmed in a certain area of your life.
· The ability to gently remind yourself of your worth and needs, as well as the understanding that when you do so, you will present your best self to the outside world, is what true strength is all about.
· Setting boundaries can entail spending ten minutes writing in a gratitude journal. It might entail going for a walk after supper each night.
· It can entail making time to do yoga or read.
[7:40] A Character Strength
Gentleness is probably a composite character strength.
· This is used to describe traits that can't be summed up in a single positive trait or construct.
· Instead, the strength appears to combine several other strengths.
· Mindfulness, grit, respect, patience, responsibility, a tendency to apologize, encouragement, and tolerance are further compound character qualities.
Being gentle entails being humble, being quick to forgive others and yourself, having a soft and supportive disposition, and being other-oriented.
Considering this, I believe gentleness is a human trait whose characteristics are humility, forgiveness, and kindness.
Naturally, gentleness extends beyond those three.
· There are a few further character traits to consider.
· Gentle people appear to have a high degree of openness and receptivity with others, great love for others, and social intelligence anchored in their authentic emotions.
Gentleness is a wonderful quality as it focuses outward toward caring for others' needs.
The gentle souls are the ones who quietly move from place to place, sweetly and humbly attend to whomever they connect, and are so delicate and light that they don't carry the baggage from the last interaction.
[9:10] Ways To Be Gentle With Others
Here are simple ways for you to show gentleness to others.
1. Smile at everyone.
a. Anyone can feel at ease around you with a genuine smile.
b. So, smile frequently in your relationships if you want to make it more fun.
2. Refrain from imposition.
a. You can offer advice, but you should never impose your preferences on others.
b. Everyone has free will, and you must honor that.
3. Actively listen to others.
a. Do not silence others when they are expressing their emotions.
b. Instead, demonstrate your willingness to listen, especially if the conversation is about your relationship.
4. Be courteous and considerate.
a. Another aspect of gentleness is politeness.
b. To prevent being impolite, use good manners and be kind.
c. People will sense your respect for them by doing this.
d. Remember significant dates in your relationship, such as birthdays.
5. Be patient.
a. A fiery temper might result from impatience.
b. Be more considerate of others to prevent this.
c. Alternatively, you may focus on something else.
d. Stop monitoring the clock, for instance, if they were late meeting you. Instead, use this time to read, for example.
6. Whenever you can, lend a hand.
a. Another approach to being gentle is to help others.
b. Small gestures, such as moving food from person to person at the table or offering to help with the dishes, can have a significant impact on your relationship.
7. Serve with joy.
a. One of the most thoughtful things you can do for your relationship is to serve them.
b. You can make coffee or cook their favorite meal.
c. Anything you do will be heartwarming if you carry it out with joy.
8. Be mindful of the words you use.
a. A gentle person is perceptive to other people's emotions.
b. So be careful not to use hostile language when speaking to others as words have power.
c. This is especially true anytime you are debating a subject.
9. Encourage others.
a. There will undoubtedly be instances when you lose patience with people’s flaws.
b. Decide to make your comments into constructive criticisms rather than hurling out rude statements.
c. Try not to criticize and point out their errors.
d. Just make comments that will help them grow.
10. Speak calmly.
a. No matter how enraged you are, keep your voice in check in terms of loudness, tone, and pitch.
b. You should always speak to others in a conversational tone.
c. Never use force while you're upset.
d. Never lose control, no matter how irate you become.
e. Simply don’t yell as it closes others off and doesn’t allow communication to occur.
f. Violent behavior can cause psychological trauma.
11. Considering leaving the situation.
a. If you can't help raising your voice or using hurtful language, decide to distance yourself from the circumstances instead of allowing it to escalate.
b. Let the other party know that you can’t deal with the situation until you calm down, but you want to resolve it.
c. After you are grounded, have a conversation to work out the problem.
12. Express your gratitude.
a. Be more grateful to those in your life.
b. Thank them sincerely for everything they do for you.
c. Make saying "thank you" and "I love you" routine expressions in your relationships.
13. When requesting a favor, always use the word "please."
a. Never forget the magic of this word when you need assistance.
b. Never try to dictate to others, allow them to perform what you ask voluntarily.
c. By saying "please," you show others you appreciate their help, whether they choose to do the task.
14. Be prepared to apologize.
a. If you know that you have hurt another, apologize.
b. This shows your concern for the other person's feelings and your dislike of hurting them.
15. Forgive others.
a. Be quick to forgive if you are the one who is hurt or offended.
b. If you want to keep the cherished connection, why continue to be angry?
c. Of course, this does not imply that you accept improper behavior.
d. It merely shows that your love for the person outweighs any mistakes on their part.
16. Seek other viewpoints.
a. Even if they have the power, gentle people do not dominate others.
b. No matter how uninvolved people are, attempt to involve them in decision-making whenever possible.
c. Request their opinions before deciding.
d. You should hear your trusted tribes, perspective on matters so you can be clear in your decision-making.
[14:11] Gently Moving Forward
With a little more kindness toward yourself, your family, and the rest of the world, how would your life change?
· Being kind to other people all the time is a skill that not everyone possesses.
· Some people struggle to be kind to others because they are so used to be tough.
Some people view gentleness as a sign of weakness.
· They are hesitant to be kind out of concern that others might take advantage of them.
· However, relationships flourish from gentleness.
· Relationships won't last if people are insensitive and rude to one another.
Improve your gentleness in all you do.
· The softly uttered phrase, the delicate touch, the cozy hug, and the kind, appreciative gesture are all valued by others.
· There should be more gentle people in the world, and it can begin with you.
Do you need help to better communicate with others?
· Are you looking for support in learning to connect authentically with others?
· Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life?
· If so, please get in touch with me, and we can put together an action plan for you be gentle with others and live a graceful life.
To discover how I learned to be gentle with myself, you can do so by reading my book, Raven Transcending Fear, available on Amazon or you can go to RavenTranscendingFear.com for more information.
